MAKING YOUR MARRIAGE WORK – A LOVERS Quiz

November 23, 2012

The following LOVERS motto is the essential foundation of any marriage, whether a first or second time around:

                                  L……..loyalty

                                  O…….openness

                                  V…….value of trust

                                  E…….empathy 

                                  R…….respect

                                  S…….stability of commitment

Please take this “LOVERS” quiz to help you evaluate the LOVERS health of your marriage, as a first or second wife:

_____1.  I feel that my husband has a lot of respect for me.

_____2.  My husband is totally committed to me.

_____3.  I feel that my husband doesn’t listen to what I have to say.

_____4.  I am completely committed to my husband and our marriage.

_____5.  My husband is a very upstanding person.

_____6.  I want to know everything that’s on my husband’s mind.

_____7.  My husband is not very honest with me.

_____8.  I’ve never thought that I made a mistake marrying my husband.

_____9.  Frequently, I’m too angry with my husband to try to understand him.

____10.  I am frequently bad-mouthing my husband to my friends because I find it hard to

accept him as he is.

____11.  My husband sometimes puts me down in front of family or friends.

____12.  I usually admire my husband’s character.

____13.  I have to be careful of what I tell my husband.

____14.  My husband is always there for me.

____15.  I’d back my husband through thick and thin.

____16.  I am my husband’s priority in life.

____17.  I find it scary to be emotionally or physically intimate with a man.

____18.  My husband keeps his feelings to himself.

SCORING

LOVERS POSITIVES

_____Numbers 14, 15, 16   Marking all 3 “true” indicates a long-lasting duo with much

        “loyalty”.  (Score 1 point for each “true”)

_____Numbers 13, 17, 18   Marking all 3 “false” means that “openness” (communication) is

        great! Be happy!  (Score 1 point for each “false”)

_____Numbers 6, 7, 11   Marking all 3 “false” means that “value of trust” is strong.  (Score 1

        point for each “false”)

_____Numbers 3, 9, 10   Marking all 3 “false” indicates that “empathy” is strong in your

        marriage.  (Score 1 point for each “false”)

_____Numbers 1, 5, 12   Marking all 3 “true” means that “respect” is alive and well.

         Wonderful! (Score 1 point for each “true”)

_____Numbers 2, 4, 8   Marking all 3 “true” means that your “stability of commitment” is

         perfect.  Congratulations!  (Score 1 point for each “true”)

_____Total points

                                                         LOVERS NEGATIVES

Marking any or all of 14, 15, 16 “false” means that you may be questioning the values of your marriage and the “loyalty” may be an issue.

Marking any or all of 13, 17, 18 “true” tells you that “openness” (communication) could be a problem.

Marking any or all of 6, 7, 11 “true” indicates that “value of trust” needs improvement.

Marking any or all of 3, 9, 10 “true” indicates that “empathy” is not a strongpoint.

Marking any or all of 1, 5, 12 “false” shows that “respect” may be lacing in your relationship.

Marking any or all of 2, 4, 8 “false” means that “stability of commitment” may be a problem.

EVALUATING YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Points:________

16-18    Relationship is very good

13-15    Relationship is only fair…needs help

8-12      Relationship is very problematic and lacks strength

Below 8  Relationship needs immediate help to survive

MarriageCounselorNJ.us.com            Dr. Lenore Millian      (203) 313-1208

Office in Woodcliff Lake, NJ

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